Thursday, September 12, 2013

If You Have a LIittle Boy...

    Yeah. If you have a son, then you understand....and have probably had similar experiences. From the moment they learn that it enables them  to pee pretty much anywhere at anytime (as long as they can find something to stand behind) they think it is the coolest thing ever. Who needs a toilet, when that tree over there will do juuuuust fine! Don't misunderstand, I don't just let them drop trou in the middle of downtown and wiz on hydrants, but if we are somewhere and the possibility to pee on something outside presents itself, well, lets just that they haven't turned it down yet. 

    And it's not like they just go around singing it's praises or talking about it, (because that wouldn't be at all weird. right.) but again, if they have the chance to bring it up casually in conversation then you can bet that you are going to get an earful. At least if you are mom or grandma or the like.  

    Yesterday I was getting Noah dressed for bed. We were having one of our many, many, many conversations about his day, and what he learned, and how he wants a pet monkey, and how if Jesus was on Earth now he would probably be a cowboy (but definitely a non smoking cowboy), when he looks at me and says, innocently enough, "You know what we are learning in school? We are learning how people are different."
     Now, you see that sentence right there? If you have a son under the age of 6, then you know the potential places that a loaded statement like that can lead. Harmless? Yeah.  But it will probably get might even get a blog post out of it. So being the expert (sure. why not.) mom that I am, I want to encourage him and teach him that, yes, we have many differences, but we are all awesome. In short- WWMRS? or What Would Mr Rogers Say?  Well, I was raised without cable, so I know exactly what Mr. Rogers would say. In my best "happy mom" voice, I respond, "That's right! We are all a little different! That makes us special!"  Noah grins and continues, "I have brown hair. You have black hair." I give him a big hug and praise him for this nugget of wisdom, because lets face it, he IS a genius.  Next he says "And you have freckles and dots on your face. But i don't have those. But its ok mom. I love you anyway!" He giggles and while i still have my big ole "mommy grin" on my face, I am silently wondering if my kid is innocent or a smart ass.  It is more than likely the latter, but lets face it, he gets it honest and I am of the belief that a little smart assery is a good thing. Most of the time. I think "WWMRS"  and decide to give him a big hug and tell him that, yes, he has pretty brown skin....but freckles are good too. He looks at me, skeptical about the goodness of freckles, before smiling and saying, "And guess what else MOM?"
"What?" I say, still in full on way- to-happy- to- be- this- tired mom mode. 
"I have a wiener  Girls don't have wieners  You are a girl, so you don't have a wiener  huh mom?" 
It seems like the kid is trying to fit the word "wiener" into the sentence as many times as he can, but he isn't done. Next he says "I really am sorry that you don't get to have one, mom. I know you wish you could pee standing up." 

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