A Quick Dose of Craziness...

  I know that i am way past due for a "real" blog update, and there have been more than enough happenings to fill many pages on my blog, but, like most moms, i am incredibly busy on most days, and even more so through the holidays. Never the less, a few things have happened lately that I thought were funny enough to constitute quick post. But, I am biased....

  The thing that makes Little N hilarious is also the thing that makes me incredibly nervous when we meet new people. I never know where his mind is on a subject, and i absolutely never know what he is going to say. He never outright lies just to get away with something, or at least not anymore than any other five year old boy who is scared of getting in trouble, but he does exaggerate things. Which would not be so bad, except sometimes he really convinces himself of what he is saying, and then will argue down to prove his (way far out there) point. This is is really information for a future post, but the point I am trying to get across today is that you never, ever, ever know what is going to come out of his mouth. For example, last week my Dad was visiting. He and Little N were sitting on the couch watching Dr. Who, and apparently the doctor did something that N didn't think was very smart because he looked right at my Daddy and, plain as day just like it was  something that he said all of the time, says "Well, what the hell did he do that for?"  I was shocked, and if I am honest, a little tickled. Okay, a lot tickled, but i didn't want to let him know that. From the look on my Dad's face, I am pretty sure that he felt the same way. It's not really that bad of a thing to say, as far as "bad words" go,  but I definitely do not want my five year old going around saying "what the hell". So we explain to him that it is not a nice thing to say, and he argues that it isn't a bad word at all.  E decides to pipe in with "Do what i do. Just find a different word to say instead." This would be great advice, except it turns out that E says "What the ffffffffflap-doodle" with a lot of emphasis on that first F sound. ME and Justin looked at each other- because- well- you know what it sounded like he was about to say....

Tree Poop...

    Our discussions in the car range from boring and mundane to out there....mostly they are out there. Today was definitely no different. I picked the littles ups from school and headed into town to run a few errands. Little N was kind of grouchy and just sat quietly in his seat, daydreaming, while E filled me in on everything that happened in his day. And i do mean everything. E does not believe in leaving out details. I say that he tells stories like his Aunt Jill- no leaving out the boring bits. (I told you my two are total opposites)  He is telling me how many bites he took of his chicken sandwich and what this and that person said...and he is doing it all in his attempt at a British accent (thank you Dr. Who...just....thanks). He is calling me governor, and calling his friends his mates, the whole shebang. don't get me wrong, I really love talking to my big man, but after fifteen minutes of  his cockney-Texas hybrid accent, i a little relieved when Little N piped in with, "Mom. I just. I just really am wondering about something" His little face actually looked forlorn, making my heart break just a little when i thought of what he was about to say. Was someone being mean? Did he get in trouble? Did he have a rough day?  You know that kinds of things that run through your mind whenever one of your littles say that they need to talk and look sad. Little N takes a deep breath and says, "Its just that, I have been wondering. How does trees poop? And where does it go?"

                                             The mini Drs fast at work.... They are Dr. Who obsessed.

                                                

...And Destruction!

   We celebrate imagination at Circ De Shotwell. I encourage my boys to read, and "play pretend" outside. I love it when they make up stories, and are so into a game that it is almost like they actually see the fantasy world that they have concocted around them. But even a big imagination can have it's downfalls. I was starting supper when Little N ran  inside with  tears in his eyes, and I can tell he is about to use the dreaded "whiny voice". ( Like all kids, mine go through spells of being  best friends....and mortal enemies.) Sure enough, he opens his dirt ringed mouth, and in his perfected five year old whine says, "Mama! Eddie is being so so mean to me! He, he... he won't stop chopping down all of my trees! He is just destroying the forest I grew on my planet and it took me years, until i was an old man to grow those trees! Mom, he won't be happy until its total destruction!" Biting back my smile, I asked him if he had asked his brother to stop and to be nice. Well, of course he did. "But all he does, mom, is jump in the tardis and yell to me, 'so long sucker! Have fun on your dead planet!' It's just not fair. It took me a lifetime to grow those trees." 

     

Later Tater

-Em

Things that made me smile and a MANLY work ethic....

   It seems to me, that the way it happens around our little circus, is that somedays my monkeys are up to enough shenanigans (thats right...shenanigans) to fill a book, much less a blog post, and then we will have a few weeks of normalcy. Or at least what passes for normalcy around here.  Lately, things have been rather calm. Of course my two have been their regular, charming, witty, perfect selves ;) , but there hasn't been anything that I thought anyone but a mama or grandmother or doting aunt would care to hear about, so instead of blogging these minor happenings, I have instead called my mama, my mother in law, and my little sister. 

   My little sister, who i might add,  is a brand new M.O.B., herself.   Since she has been married, she has had the privilege of being step mama to the awesomely awesome Carter, but anyone who has two kids knows that the real, ahem... fun, begins when you have that second child, which she just did.  Welcome to the world BRUCE WAYNE NOBLE HUGHES- perfect little boy with the perfect little feet.  ;) I cannot wait to spoil you.

Baby Bruce Wayne...

 There have been a few things that have made me laugh, though, as well as a major parenting fail that i posted on facebook and was told by my Aunt B to blog because she wanted the whole story. But first- i need to tell you about my five year old's 

MANLY WORK ETHIC.

We have a push mower, which means, no one wants to actually mow the grass. At least when you own  a riding mower you can pretend you are on a very slow go cart. The only thing you can pretend while using the push mower is that you are vacuuming  and that is even worse than mowing! So no thank you...for all of my "girls can do anything guys can do" outlook- i totally pull the, oh so convenient,  "thats the husband's job" card when it is  time for our grass to be cut.  Justin bites the bullet and cuts it, without complaining...he is good like that. :) The shotlittle's job is to bag up the grass.I don't really like them doing it bc they have allergies, but I refrain from  saying anything bc my husband is very intent on teaching them to work. This is a lesson that I agree with 100%, so even though i would rather them do something that didn't result in doses of clariten, I let them go for it.

  Today, when the three of them had been outside working for a few minutes, N came inside to change into his cleats. I don't ask questions about the shoes that N decides to wear or his reasoning about it. I pick my battles, and he won the clothing/shoe battle when he was 18 months old. Totally not worth the headache. He kind of wears what he wants, which usually includes cleats or boots and some sort of cape. After he got  his cleats on, he pulled off his t-shirt and headed back out the door. Cringing at the thought of all of that cut grass rubbing on his bare belly and the patches of eczema that were sure to break out as a result, I asked him, "Noah, wheres the shirt?". I should have known there was a reason for taking it off. He explained to me, "Real mens work with no shirts on so their muscles can get some sun and grow bigger. Daddy and brother are being wimps. They are working with their shirts on like women. Not me! I am a man, and mans go with no shirts!" A few seconds later when i went out to take a pic- his shirt was still off and so were the cleats.

 PARENTING FAIL

   During the summer, our routine becomes very lax. To be honest, what it becomes is nonexistent. We eat when we are hungry, not necessarily at the same time, and usually not the same meals. There are a lot of corndogs, pizza, and the like. When school starts back, we fall back into (meaning i force us into)  some semblance of order that includes bedtimes, dinner times, hot meals for breakfast, and washing your hair. Like a lot of stay at home moms, my day starts at 5:30 and ends when everyone else is asleep.  I am not complaining, i love it, but, despite what some of my friends think, it is a job. A great job, but a job. 

     I had just started the day before, cooking 'real' suppers again, and making everyone set at the table to eat.  Pinterest has really upped the ante on home cooked meals, with everyone posting pics of their food, so i decided to try something new. It's ingredients included cream cheese, cheddar cheese, bacon, and chicken- so yeah- it looked and smelled amazing! And- it fit into my husbands lo carb diet. Double Win! It came out of the oven about the time the hubs walked in the door from work, starving as usual, and the kids happened to be playing super spy vs cowboy in the back yard.  It started out, with us just taking a small "taste" and then, the hubs suggested, "hey, lets eat together while the kids are playing," and then he said the magic words, "It'll be kind of like a date. Give us a chance to talk." In hind site- i wonder if this was all part of some plan to begin with, but even so, I "fell for it".  The chicken tasted as good as it smelled, which was even better than it looked. So i assume no responsibility.  None. Cream cheese is pretty much legalized crack anyway. Mix it with bacon, and you could start a war. So i don't think anyone would blame me for not sharing anymore than i had to. I probably wouldn't have given any to Justin, but he is bigger than me and was hungry- and we have saying about him when he is hungry and just home from work- 'Don't poke the bear"... yeah- we started that. (sure, why not?) 

  So-after all of this rambling- I can sum it up like this. WE ATE IT ALL. I even raked my finger on the bottom of the pan,  like you do after you pour cake batter out of a bowl.. So for all of my good intentions- my hubs and I ate the hot, home cooked meal, the kids got PB&j and ramen noodles. Then i felt guilty so i let them have coke. And they pretty much ate it with toys at the table. But the bright side is- now i have this really great chicken recipe.  

-Well- i am being summoned...so i will share more later.  

If You Have a LIittle Boy...

    Yeah. If you have a son, then you understand....and have probably had similar experiences. From the moment they learn that it enables them  to pee pretty much anywhere at anytime (as long as they can find something to stand behind) they think it is the coolest thing ever. Who needs a toilet, when that tree over there will do juuuuust fine! Don't misunderstand, I don't just let them drop trou in the middle of downtown and wiz on hydrants, but if we are somewhere and the possibility to pee on something outside presents itself, well, lets just that they haven't turned it down yet. 

    And it's not like they just go around singing it's praises or talking about it, (because that wouldn't be at all weird. right.) but again, if they have the chance to bring it up casually in conversation then you can bet that you are going to get an earful. At least if you are mom or grandma or the like.  


CASE IN POINT-
    Yesterday I was getting Noah dressed for bed. We were having one of our many, many, many conversations about his day, and what he learned, and how he wants a pet monkey, and how if Jesus was on Earth now he would probably be a cowboy (but definitely a non smoking cowboy), when he looks at me and says, innocently enough, "You know what we are learning in school? We are learning how people are different."
     Now, you see that sentence right there? If you have a son under the age of 6, then you know the potential places that a loaded statement like that can lead. Harmless? Yeah.  But it will probably get interesting.....you might even get a blog post out of it. So being the expert (sure. why not.) mom that I am, I want to encourage him and teach him that, yes, we have many differences, but we are all awesome. In short- WWMRS? or What Would Mr Rogers Say?  Well, I was raised without cable, so I know exactly what Mr. Rogers would say. In my best "happy mom" voice, I respond, "That's right! We are all a little different! That makes us special!"  Noah grins and continues, "I have brown hair. You have black hair." I give him a big hug and praise him for this nugget of wisdom, because lets face it, he IS a genius.  Next he says "And you have freckles and dots on your face. But i don't have those. But its ok mom. I love you anyway!" He giggles and while i still have my big ole "mommy grin" on my face, I am silently wondering if my kid is innocent or a smart ass.  It is more than likely the latter, but lets face it, he gets it honest and I am of the belief that a little smart assery is a good thing. Most of the time. I think "WWMRS"  and decide to give him a big hug and tell him that, yes, he has pretty brown skin....but freckles are good too. He looks at me, skeptical about the goodness of freckles, before smiling and saying, "And guess what else MOM?"
"What?" I say, still in full on way- to-happy- to- be- this- tired mom mode. 
"I have a wiener  Girls don't have wieners  You are a girl, so you don't have a wiener  huh mom?" 
It seems like the kid is trying to fit the word "wiener" into the sentence as many times as he can, but he isn't done. Next he says "I really am sorry that you don't get to have one, mom. I know you wish you could pee standing up." 

For E

             

BLACK EYED BOY

SNAGGLE TOOTHED GRIN

THE SUN SHINES DOWN

AND BROWNS YOUR SKIN

YOUR EYES TELL THE SECRETS

YOU HOLD WITHIN

MY BLACK EYED BOY

WITH THE SNAGGLE TOOTHED GRIN

BLACK EYED BOY

BRAVE AND BOLD

MAMA'S HEART YOU HAPPILY HOLD

WITH MY LOVE IN YOUR POCKET

ON ADVENTURES YOU GO

MY BLACK EYED BOY

EIGHT YEARS OLD

BLACK EYED BOY

DADDY'S PRIDE

BROTHER'S HERO

MAMA'S LIFE

BLACK EYED BOY

MY HEART YOUR IN

MAMA LOVES YOUR SNAGGLE TOOTHED GRIN

Meet the STARS of this show

 BROTHERS.

     They are compete and total opposites. E is my serious, often brooding, intellectual, sweetheart. N is my crazy, free-spirit, loving, mama's boy with a huge imagination. N cannot be bothered to read the directions, while E tends to always play by the rules. This is not to say that E doesn't love to laugh, and that N cannot be calm when something is important to him, but only that when they are being their truest, unguarded, happiest selves, you will often find E reading or searching out answers to one of his endless questions, and N is running around being a superhero or making up stories about cowboys who live in trees. They are almost two sides to a single coin. Brothers who are complete opposites, but are deeply bonded through the unconditional love of  young brotherhood. The love that means that even though you might not always "like" a person, you do, however, and always will love them.  And I am incredibly lucky. I get to be their mom.  :)